Beautiful Goodbye
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Angela has finally come to terms with the fact that she and Jordan are over and she tries to deal with it. Can she cope? Or will she fall back into Jordan’s arms? based on 'Beautiful Goodbye' by Amanda Marshall
1. Fed Up with My Destiny

Beautiful Goodbye

By: Nicole Lopez

Disclaimer: I do not own My So-Called-Life and any of the characters. If I did, it would've had at least six more seasons!!

Summary: Angela has finally come to terms with the fact that she and Jordan are over and she tries to deal with it. Can she cope? Or will she fall back into Jordan's arms?

Part One: Fed up with My Destiny

Jordan Catalano was the best thing that ever happened to me. Before him I was boring, ordinary, so naïve. And even those moments that he just looked at me, even for a second, made my entire existence worthwhile. He was everything that I could've ever wanted, but nothing is forever. Realistically, I know that now. Jordan and I were only biding our time. And so, we were in love, or at least I was, during my sophomore year in high school … he was all I could think about, dream about. I even failed advanced lit just so that I could be moved down to the same class he was. But it all ended …

My best friend slept with him and it took that for me to realize that maybe happily ever after didn't exist. Maybe I was doomed to be someone's used goods, someone's "could've been but never was." Rayanne, God I should've seen it coming. But, I didn't. And afterwards, I forgave her. How could I not? Rayanne was the one who had gotten me where I was, the one who had introduced me to Jordan and given me the confidence to even talk to him. So, I couldn't throw her out completely.

And when she came up with this brilliant idea that I date one of Ricky's cousins, I complied, not really into it, but knowing that anything was better than hopelessly thinking about Jordan all the time. But, Austin, was nothing like Jordan and he could never compare. And when I dated Dan, I came to the same conclusion …while he cheated on me … And I'm fed up with everything.

This is where I am now, with no one and nothing and still totally head-over-heels in love with Jordan Catalano. This is no longer just some teenage crush, but full-blown love.

Jordan Catalano's dating someone else now … probably a whole bunch of women since his band sky-rocketed into a semi-famous sensation. And I'm sure that when I saw that girl hanging on his arm with that rock on his finger … he gave it to her. And I'm sure that he's forgotten about me. It's just like fate to kick me when I'm down. There's just a part of me that needs to know something … I need to know if what we had was real for closure sake. I just can't walk away or let it go until I know …

(A/N: This song is based off of "Beautiful Goodbye" by Amanda Marshall. I danced to this song last year and completely love it and decided to write a short story based off of it. So, review, review, review and read "I Shouldn't Still Love You…" Thanks so much!!. –NL)

To Come ....

-- Angela starts to sink out of her depression

-- Jaded Chase comes to Boston

-- Rayanne tries to protect Angela from the truth


	2. To the Place of No Return

To the Place of No Return

"Get up Angela." Ricky whined, tugging at her sheets as she pulled them closer to her body. Ever since they had watched that special on Jaded Chase, she had been burying herself deeper and deeper into despair.

"No Ricky. It's over." Angela sighed, trying to close her eyes and remember what it felt like to feel the warmth of Jordan's body heat up her entire body as he hugged her … or that time she thought he'd wrote that song about her. What was it called … Red. In an attempt to cling onto her youthful happiness, Angela had recently dyed her hair red, one last time, in hopes that Jordan would return to her. All that was over now. He was going to be married soon and …

"No, it's not Angela. If it means that much to you then I'll…" Ricky paused. "I'll get you to see him."

"What? You'd do that for me?" She wondered, never asking Ricky to do anything like this for her before. Angela knew how much he hated to be used and Rayanne begged for backstage passes enough for the both of them.

"They'll be here in a couple of days, staying at a private hotel." Ricky informed me.

"But what about his finance?" Angela questioned, as her hopes started to fall again.

"Isabella will not be there. She's off doing her whole tour thing too." He reassured her.

"Oh, I love you Ricky!" Angela gave him a huge hug, releasing the smell of a week-old unbathed body.

"I love you to girl, but you really need to take a shower. Or two." He joked as Angela smiled and hopped out of the bed. Things were looking up. And maybe she'd even get to tell Jordan how she felt …

"So where are we playing next?" Trixie asked, poking at her freshly dyed pink hair.

"In New York, or something …" Tino answered, looking over at Catalano who was busy writing another song.

"Does he ever quit?" Trixie asked, reading his mind.

"Yeah, Catalano chill out. This is our vacation time dude!" Tino joked,

"It would help if you guys would let me concentrate. I'm trying to write." Jordan complained as Tino and Trixie looked at each other.

"Better get quiet. He's in one of his moods again." She whispered.

"Yeah, he's been like that since--"

"Stop the bus." Jordan demanded angrily. "Stop the bus!!" He hopped off the bus and started walking the rest of the way into town.

"We're almost there Jordan." Tino pleaded.

"Just get back on the bus and we'll be quiet." Jordan flicked her off in response as the bus pulled off. So much for third chances or a change of heart.

"I cannot believe that there's only going to be less than a week before I see him again." Angela gushed over the phone to Rayanne who was out of town doing Rayanne-like things.

"So, you're excited then?"

"Excited? I'm more than excited. I am so stoked that I can't even believe it's real. The idea of me seeing him again is just too much to fathom." Angela sighed thinking about how long she had waited for Jordan to return and how crushed she had been knowing that he was engaged.

"So should I prepare for the wedding then?" Rayanne joked.

"Not yet." Angela smiled. "I don't know if he'll even remember me."

"Oh, he'll remember. The interesting part will be to see how far that little wench goes to keep him. She'd probably kill for that paycheck he's getting." I nodded not knowing what to say at that moment. "When you see him, you'll probably be disappointed. I always thought Catalano was a loser." Rayanne added quietly.

"I think I should--" Angela's voice stopped as she bumped into a grungy-looking guy she barely noticed while on the phone.

"Excuse you." He mumbled in an oddly familiar voice.

Angela gave him the finger. "Asshole." She shot back, rushing to pick up her phone. "Some people." Angela whispered after making sure that she hadn't lost Rayanne. Looking back behind her shoulder, Angela realized that she had just crossed paths with … it couldn't be … Jordan Catalano.

(A/N: Thanks for the one review that I have so far, but I appreciate it and it is enough to inspire me and keep me going. I hope you love this next installment. –NL)

To come…

The first Angela and Jordan encounter

Who is Jordan's fiancé

And Raeanne's well-kept secret


	3. Doesn’t Really Matter How the Time Goes ...

Doesn't Really Matter How the Time Goes By

"A-Are you…" Angela began, her voice cracking before she could finish her sentence.

"No. I'm not the lead singer of Jaded Chase." Jordan lied, still pissed that he couldn't get enough respect from his band mates to have enough peace and quiet to write a decent song. He'd been having writer's block since the last time he'd seen …

"Oh." Angela sighed, suddenly feeling stupid. "Well, are you lost?"

"I know where I'm going. I used to live here." Angela nodded, heading in the opposite direction. "Actually … I could use a little help." Jordan changed his mind, finally realizing who this girl reminded him of.

Angela. There was an uncanny resemblance, in the way she looked down shyly as if she were so insecure about everything, but still able to look up at him for reassurance. Angela … The one person who had been able to humble him … and make him lose his breath every time.

"Where do you need to go?" Angela asked, unable to believe his uncanny resemblance to Jordan. How could she actually think he'd be here. They were probably off touring somewhere else.

"I need a quiet place to think." He added, relieved that she didn't press the question of his identity anymore.

"The library it is." Angela gave him one more quick look-over knowing that Rayanne would reprimand her for picking up some stranger, but her life's work was all about helping people with their problems … kids actually, but everyone needed a little guidance here and there.

"That is not what I asked for." Isabella complained, tossing the subway sandwich aside. "I don't eat meat. There's turkey on this." She scrunched up her nose. "Get me another one."

"Really what was she thinking?" Gwynne chimed in happy that someone in their family was making it big. This way, she'd never have to work.

"Did I say you could say something." Isabella snapped, annoying that people thought they actually knew her. The only one who did was Jordan. "I'm tired." She added, which was Gwynne's cue to leave the room.

Feeling a little lonely and bored for the moment, Isabella picked up the phone dialed 5. Jordan was on her speed dial.

"Hey." She heard him answer, sounding a little out of breath.

"What are you up to?" She wondered lucky that she was even able to reel him in. Jordan was so in love with her that he'd do anything that she wanted. In truth, all she wanted was for him to be there …

"I'm writing." He responded as Isabella sighed.

"Again? Danny, you're always writing something." She complained.

"And it's always about you." Jordan retorted sweetly. "I really wish that you could be here with me."

"How much? How badly do you want me to be there?"

"More than I want anything else right now." Isabella smiled, twirling her finger around her dark brown waves.

"Isabella, my love." Eric began as she dropped the phone.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

"I heard Jordan wasn't here and I … I knew you'd be lonely." He answered seductively, walking over to Isabella and rubbing her shoulders. Something inside of her told her that this wasn't right and that Jordan would hate her forever for it, but Eric was just a friend. They hadn't done anything … yet.

"Mommy I'm tired." Donavan complained, tugging on the bottom of Rayanne's skirt.

"I know, but not now. I've got to do this first." Raeanne explained as Donavan continued to pout. "You want to eat don't you kid?"

"Yes Mommy."

"Go sit down backstage, okay? I'll be back here in a few and the girls will watch you." Raeanne assured him as she took her opening pose for her striptease.

If Angela or Ricky knew that she was doing this, they'd never speak to her again, but she wasn't only supporting herself anymore. She had responsibilities to take on. _I have a son now_, Raeanne thought to herself, removing her first article of clothing.

A few minutes of humiliation and degrading herself could be the difference between having a place to stay and living out in the streets.

"So, who was that?" Angela wondered, following Jordan outside of the library building, which they had stayed in for about ten minutes.

"Someone that's really important to me." He responded as Angela couldn't help but feeling like she knew him.

"So, when did you live here?"

Jordan shrugged. "About seven years ago I guess." Angela nodded. She probably _did _know him, but just couldn't put her finger on it.

"So, do I at least get a name?" She questioned, intrigued by his mysterious demeanor and artsy style.

"You can call me Dan." Jordan decided, giving the name that only his finance called him by.

"Angela." They shook hands as he continued walking away. "Umm … where are you staying?"

"Some hotel, why?"

"My friends and I are having a dinner party." Angela began, letting her newfound instincts to help those in need take over. "If you want to, you can come and meet some new people." She scribbled down Ricky's address hoping that she hadn't just invited some serial killer to the party.

"Maybe." Jordan responded as they parted. In utter amazement, he suddenly realized who that girl was … Angela Chase. The very girl they had named the band after. The first girl he had … fallen in love with. Jordan shook his head to snap out of his high school fantasy. She hadn't changed much … looking down at the address in his hand, Jordan knew that he wouldn't be able to make it.

The band was probably doing a magazine shoot or some stupid radio shit. It didn't really matter anyway. He'd be gone in a couple of days and marrying his supermodel finance, Isabella.

(A/N: I updated today just because I had a special request from one of my reviewers. I hope you like this and keep reading. A special thanks to:

**Selma**, **Jill**, and **clairedanesfanatic** for reviewing!! –NL)


	4. Cause I Still Remember You and I

Staggered through these Empty Streets

"I met a guy." Angela boasted to Rayanne and Ricky, who had finally found time to spend with each other. It seemed like forever since they just sat down and chilled out over popcorn and meaningless chatter.

"Ooh. Spill." Ricky focused his full attention to Angela who was completely loving it.

"I met him this afternoon." Angela began.

"In that little bit of time I left you alone?" Ricky interrupted while Angela nodded, eager to finish her story.

"Anyway, it happened when I was on the phone with you Rae. I wasn't looking where I was going and I bumped into this guy … he's totally different from all the other guys I've met before." She added with a smile.

"And what about Catalano?" Rayanne chimed in, bursting Angela's bubble, while Ricky nudged her. "I _had _to ask. Just yesterday you were so caught up with him that you could barely get out of bed. And now look at you."

"Are you calling me fickle?" Angela stood up, amazing that her friends seemed to be supporting her in everything, but this.

"Rayanne's just saying that maybe you should fix one situation before you jump into another one." Ricky added, trying to ease the tension.

"So, you're on her side?"

"I'm not taking sides." Ricky sighed. "What do you know about this guys anyway."

Angela looked down and away, tucking her deep red hair behind her ear. "Nothing." She shrugged, now forced to think about and focus on Jordan and no one else. "I just invited him here, but don't worry … he probably won't come anyway."

"So what are we doing tonight?" Jordan wondered, never able to keep up or remember what was on their schedule.

"Well, we had to cancel our magazine shoot because you walked out." Trixie complained, upset that Jordan was interfering with her big debut.

"That's not what I asked." He mumbled.

"We have a radio show tonight and … some business party." Tino answered, walking past the two and into his own private room.

"So I guess I have to go then." Jordan looked down at the paper he had gotten from Angela earlier … not wanting anyone else to know what was going on, even though there was nothing to know about … he was never going to see her again anyway.

"I don't know why we can't just go there and surprise him." Isabella pouted, getting bored with Eric quickly. "I mean everyone loves me here … and everywhere. Why can't I do like Britney and take some time off?"

"Well, first of all, Britney's career is quickly falling because of that break." Gwynne chimed in.

"Yeah, well Britney's old news. And someone will need to be replacing her soon." Eric suggested, referring to Isabella.

"Replace her?" Isabella scoffed. "I'm already better than her. And with that, I demand a break."

"But I don't think--"

"Don't think hon, just do." Isabella motioned for Eric to hand her the phone, wanting to talk to Jordan again.

"I'm so excited." Angela admitted to Rayanne, even though they had had an argument earlier. They had been friends for years and one stupid argument wasn't going to tear them apart.

"So, what does he look like?"

"He's tall, has dark hair … mysterious." Angela grinned, happily.

"Was he wearing a black coat?" Angela nodded as Rayanne directed her attention to the door. "I think I saw him."

"Really?" Rayanne nodded as Angela rushed to the door. She _had _to know if he was here.

"Angela. Angela Chase." A tall, lanky blonde-haired guy stepped in front of her path, delaying her seconds of waiting to minutes.

"Yeah. Hi." She smiled, trying to peer behind him to see if "Dan" was out there waiting for her.

"It's Brian."

"Brian Krakow." They said in union as her jaw dropped. He had gone from being a complete goober to having enough social skills to pass as someone with a life.

"Wow. It's nice to see you." She nodded, as he gave her a hug they continued talking about what they'd been up to since high school.

"This is the business party?" Jordan rolled his eyes. Of course, it was at the exact same time as the party Angela invited him to. He really wished that he could've been there to see her to …

"You coming in?" Trixie wondered as Jordan followed her into the house. He hadn't even bothered to look at the directions Angela gave him because he knew that it wasn't going to happen.

"Guess I have to." He put his phone on vibrate, knowing that his manager would probably get upset that he wasn't going to answer, but also knowing that Isabella would be calling him every five minutes about wedding plans or how much she missed him.

"Hey Jordan. Come meet Mr. Vasquez. He's going to be taking care our of in-town security and hotel business." Tino informed him as Jordan rolled his eyes.

"Hey." Jordan barely looked up, noticing that he was standing face to face with one of Angela Chase's best friends. "Jordan Catalano." They shook hands as Jordan looked around, trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this and answer his phone.

"I'm Ricky Vasquez." Jordan looked up abruptly, immediately thinking of Angela. "Yes, she's here."

(A/N: Val, you were right. I did mess up … I meant that when Jordan first saw her, she reminded him of Angela, but it wasn't until the end that he realized that he was talking to Angela. I'll fix it. Thanks!! Special thanks to: **Selma**, **Jill**, and **clairedanesfanatic** for reviewing!—NL)


	5. And that Beautiful Goodbye

And That Beautiful Goodbye

"So are you ready to escape this party of what?" Brian wondered, a mere shadow of his former geeky self. The only thing that even seemed to be remotely the same was his ever-growing infatuation with Angela.

"Umm, I kinda need to go in there and get something." Angela responded as Brian looked away, feeling the rejection that he had been forced to deal with everyday of his high school career. "But, it shouldn't take that long. You should come back in." She offered, not wanting to make him feel like she didn't care that he was there.

Since Brian had been talking to her, Angela could only think about and concentrate on the fact that Raeanne said that she'd seen Angela's dream guy. This time she wasn't going to wait for him to come around. She was going to make the first move … maybe.

"W-Where is she?" Jordan asked, not even sure if Ricky knew who he was taking about.

"Around?" Ricky shrugged with a smile. "Just hang out here for a little while and you'll find her."

"Yeah." Jordan rolled his eyes, walking away without having any intention of talking to anymore business men or women for the rest of the night. He was going to sit down and think about-

"Oh, so your Isabella is here?" Trixie wondered, following Jordan as he barely flinched at the sound of her voice. Living with her was like constantly being surrounded by the Paparazzi, everlasting and aggravating.

"Don't you have some publicity and talks that you want to be doing?" He tried to get rid of her, trying to relax on the couch they were both sitting on, but unable to succeed.

"Why? You're the big name around here." Trixie added, sensing that something was a little off. "Is there something going on with you Jordan … something that you want to talk about?"

"No. I'm fine." He stood up, looking for a server that would have a glass of wine waiting for him.

"Have you see him?" Angela asked Raeanne, who could only remember seeing him earlier that night.

"Why, what's up?"

"Nothing." Angela sighed, turning her back to the living room that Jordan had been sitting in moments earlier.

"You know you can't lie to me. What's going on girlie?"

"Nothing." Angela forced herself to smile. "You can't get your hopes up about something that's never gonna happen." She spun on her heel, knowing that Brian was waiting for her, while hoping that getting out of the house would result in something positive. For once.

(A/N: Short, but it's something. So don't just sit there, say something about it! –NL)


	6. Staggered Through These Empty Streets

Staggered Through These Empty Streets

"This is so surreal." Brian began. "I can't believe that I'm sitting here talking to you after all theses years." He smiled warmly. "So things are going well for you?"

"Yeah. I mean you are so completely different." Angela admitted, noticing how attractive he had become and trying to place all of her hopes on that guy—who never showed up—onto Brian.

"Did you really think I was going to be the same? Some gawky, curly-headed, brain?" Brian continued staring intensely at Angela. "I have changed and grown up."

Angela nodded, looking out at the window just behind Brian's now short, blonde hair and imagining what she would say to this _Dan _if she saw him. How could he lead her on like that and _make _her think that something would happen, when had he no intention whatsoever of seeing—

"So, what do you think Angela?" Brian wondered, his eyes looking at her expectantly.

"Oh. I say yeah. Go for it!" She punched out her fist enthusiastically, even though she knew that she hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"You think I should give up everything and move back here?"

"Well, if you want to?" Angela shrugged unsurely, fixating on that spot behind Brian again. Maybe if she thought really hard and _willed _it to happen then maybe, just maybe Dan would show up.

"Angela? Angela …" He paused but she was completely wrapped up in her own thoughts again. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Of course." She lied. "Well … not really, but I'm listening now."

"Would you rather me take you home?" Brian asked, disappointed, knowing that look at Angela was giving him. It was a sympathy look. Every time that she had gone out with Jordan and cut class with him, even though she was supposed to be studying with Brian, she would give him that look. As if he were a poor puppy dog, like some lonely reject that no one else wanted.

Angela looked away, not knowing whether to admit that she was really not up to this _now_, or to pretend that everything was good—which she had been failing miserably at.

"Home it is." Brian dropped some money onto the table for the coffee he had had and turned his back to Angela, disgusted. Unable to say anything worthwhile, she remained quiet until she was back at Ricky's house, only speaking to say 'thank you.' Moments later, she collapsed onto his couch, still contemplating how she could become so obsessed over a guy she had met once … or maybe she was just trying not to think of the guy that really mattered to her.

"How was your date, lover girl?" Ricky wondered, shaking Angela out of a matrix of dreams that left her confused because of their incoherence.

"There was no date." She mumbled. "It was Brian Krakow."

"And a very hot Brian I must add."

"He does look different." Angela sat up, running her hands through her hair. "I was such a jerk to him last night. All I could think about was Dan." Looking at Ricky, her eyes seemed to ask 'Did he ever show up?'

"I didn't see him there, but maybe he only came in for a little while, looked for you, and he couldn't find you so he left." He suggested.

"Yeah right." Angela ran her hands through her hair. "I have so got to do something about this color." She declared., suddenly hating the blonde hair that she had grown out. "What do you think of brown?"

"You'd have to get a tan." Ricky responded.

"Which I am getting. Please do this for me." Angela begged as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, what else to I have to do on a Saturday afternoon but dye by best friend's hair?"

"I knew you'd do it." Angela squealed, hugging him tightly.

"How does it look?" She wondered, hours later, running her hands through her hair.

"Umm …" Rayanne choked back a laugh as Ricky nudged her. "What? You called in for reinforcements. I told you you should have gotten it done professionally."

"What? Why?" Angela almost shouted as Rayanne thrust her into a mirror. "White … my hair is white!" She screamed, looking at Ricky angrily.

"What? I got the color you wanted." He answered.

"And it's not white, just platinum blonde." Rayanne chimed in.

"I am so going to kill you guys." Angela ran into her room and pulled on some decent clothing, with a hood.

"Where are you going?" Rayanne held back another laugh as Angela slipped on some thin sunglasses.

"To get this fixed."

"I was going nowhere. Going nowhere fast." Jordan held the lyrics in his hand, laughing at his naïve innocence. The band was talking about using some of their older stuff and this song had come up. Red. Out of all the songs they could've chosen they chose a song about … her. Jordan noticed Angela coming towards him and briskly walked the other way. At the speed she was walking she wouldn't even notice him unless.

"Shit." He mumbled as a folder of lyrics from his teenage years sprawled onto the dark pavement and spread themselves on all corners of the sidewalk.

"Do you need help?" Angela wondered, chasing after the papers before noticing who she had run into. "It's you." Jordan cringed at those words. Well, his secret was finally out. She knew that he had lied to her and—

"Where the hell were you last night? I thought you were coming." Angela softened her tone with the second statement, still burning fire into Jordan's shoulder.

"I went to your house." He responded.

"Like hell you did. I asked my friends and they didn't see you anywhere. How do you explain that?"

"They just didn't know what I looked like." Jordan snatched the papers from Angela's hands. He didn't want her to see them … too late.

"You write songs?" She ran her eyes over one of them.

"Yeah." Jordan began to take off, knowing this was the cleanest way to end things.

"So, why'd you stand me up asshole?" Angela called after him, eventually following him around the corner.

"Why are you following me like a lunatic? You don't even know me."

"I know that you owe me." Angela held one more paper in her hand. Jordan grabbed for it. Damn it. It was 'RED.'

"I was going nowhere, going nowhere fast." She paused. These lyrics sounded familiar. "Drowning in my memories, living in the past." As if she almost had a revelation, Angela stopped to take a look at the man in front of her, really take a look…

"Did you write this?" She wondered, unsurely, knowing that she should know that song and this guy, but still unable to.

"I'm out of here." Jordan yanked the song from her hand, accidentally taking her bracelet along with it, and jogged off around the corner. When he was far enough away he sighed. He didn't get to tell her how gorgeous she was and how much … he liked what she had done to her hair.

"And you won't tell her. You can't see her ever again." He whispered to himself, realizing that he was late for yet another appointment.

(A/N; I finally updated! Whoo-hoo. Just keep the reviews coming and I'll keep the writing coming … unless I run out of time or get writer's block. I hope you like it and I might have Jordan and Angela meet as Jordan and Angela next time knowingly I'm not sure … NL)


	7. Night had Made a Mess of Me

Night Had Made a Mess of Me

"And he had these lyrics Ricky. I swear that I've heard them before." Angela began, crossing her legs as he sat down in her bed.

"Maybe I can help you. What were they?"

"I don't know but the song is called--"

"Ricky … Angela …" Rayanne gasped, running into the house, looking like she had just escaped death with a little boy attached to her hand.

"Rayanne, what's going on?" Ricky ran over to her, hugging Rayanne tightly. "Was it Joey again?" He whispered as Rayanne nodded, looking away.

"Can I just stay here for a while?" She asked, not wanting to get into any deep conversations in front of Angela. It had been like that since high school. The two of them had always shared secrets and a bond that Angela never fit into. Because if Rayanne let her know what was really going on in her life, Angela wouldn't be able to handle it. She would probably pity Rayanne again and that whole situation with rehab would be rehashed. It was easier this way.

"Rayanne." Angela whispered, hugging her tightly and looking at the little boy who had not said anything and remained motionless, almost as if he were a statue. "Who is this?"

"I think Rayanne needs some sleep." Ricky intervened, whisking both his friend, and her son off into one of the other rooms.

"Hey baby." Isabella smiled meeting Jordan as soon as he came back from his "rendezvous" with Angela. She kissed him passionately, leading him over to the couch.

"What are you doing here?" He wondered, annoyed that he couldn't think about what just happened, or figure out what he was going to do next.

"Don't sound so happy to see me." Isabella rolled her eyes. "We need to make some final wedding decisions." She placed a book onto the table in front of the couch.

"So you flew all the way here to tell me that?" Jordan sighed.

"Yeah. It's the rest of our lives." Isabella looked at him intensely, as if expecting him to respond somehow. But, the way she said it sounded so final. But he knew he had to say something …

"I know." Jordan responded in order to keep the peace. "What you want, I want. I just want you to be happy." He declared as Isabella kissed him passionately.

"Good because I found the perfect gown and I know that you said I should stay within our budget, but it's absolutely gorgeous…" Isabella explained as Jordan struggled to pay attention. Within a couple of hours, she was still talking, but eventually fell asleep. But Jordan could not. There was something that he had to do first,

(A/N: This isn't all of the chapter, but I have more … if I can get some reviews I'll put up the next couple of chapters within the next couple of weeks! Yah! –Niki Lo)


	8. Night had Made a Mess of Me cont

Night Had Made a Mess of Me

"And the lyrics sounded so familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on it." Angela sighed after returning with her new, and honey brown hair. "It's like I know where they're from, but I just don't want to admit it or something. You know what I mean Ricky?"

"Yeah. But don't you want to hear about someone else's trauma?" He asked, referring to _almost _losing his job again.

"Go on. I'm sorry I've been a drag with all my Dan drama." Angela I apologized as Ricky's expression softened.

"It's no big deal. I just thought … never mind. Come here." Ricky hugged me tightly. "So, do you even remember the lyrics?"

"Vividly." Angela paused as she began the words. "I was going nowhere, going nowhere fast. Drowning in my memories, living in the past …"

"Oh my God Angela. It's--"

"Ricky … Angela …" Rayanne gasped, running into the house, looking like she had just escaped death with a little boy attached to her hand.

"Rayanne, what's going on?" Ricky ran over to her, hugging Rayanne tightly. "Was it Joey again?" He whispered as Rayanne nodded, looking away.

"Can I just stay here for a while?" She asked, not wanting to get into any deep conversations in front of Angela. It had been like that since high school. The two of them had always shared secrets and a bond that Angela never fit into. Because if Rayanne let her know what was really going on in her life, Angela wouldn't be able to handle it. She would probably pity Rayanne again and that whole situation with rehab would be rehashed. It was easier this way.

"Rayanne." Angela whispered, hugging her tightly and looking at the little boy who had not said anything and remained motionless, almost as if he were a statue. "Who is this?"

"I think Rayanne needs some sleep." Ricky intervened, whisking both his friend, and her son off into one of the other rooms.

SCENE

"Hey baby." Isabella smiled meeting Jordan as soon as he came back from his "rendezvous" with Angela. She kissed him passionately, leading him over to the couch.

"What are you doing here?" He wondered, annoyed that he couldn't think about what just happened, or figure out what he was going to do next.

"Don't sound so happy to see me." Isabella rolled her eyes. "We need to make some final wedding decisions." She placed a book onto the table in front of the couch.

"So you flew all the way here to tell me that?" Jordan sighed.

"Yeah. It's the rest of our lives." Isabella looked at him intensely, as if expecting him to respond somehow. But, the way she said it sounded so final. But her knew he had to say something …

"I know." Jordan responded in order to keep the peace. "What you want, I want. I just want you to be happy." He declared as Isabella kissed him passionately.

"Good because I found the perfect gown and I know that you said I should stay within our budget, but it's absolutely gorgeous…" Isabella explained as Jordan struggled to pay attention. Within a couple of hours, she was still talking, but eventually fell asleep. But Jordan could not. There was something that he had to do first,

SCENE

"Ricky, what is going on? Why is Rayanne coming here in the middle of the night all bruised up with a little boy on her arm? What is she _hiding_?" Angela asked, concerned.

"I can't tell you about that. Only she can. Just hold on a second and I'll talk to her." Ricky rushed to the back of the house as Angela sat down completely confused. Everything was bad before and now everything was so complicated. All the people she knew were keeping secrets from her and she didn't understand why. She could handle the truth and reality. No one needed to shelter her from herself.

Ding dong.

"I'll get it!" Angela yelled knowing that Ricky and Rayanne were back there talking to each other about their secrets and getting closer and closer by the second.

"Hey. Wait. Don't close the door." As if he had some sort of power over her, Angela obeyed, moving to the side to let him in. "Umm … there's something I need to say to you." Dan took off his hat and his coat.

"Jordan? J- Jordan Catalono?"

"Yeah, it's me. But you knew it all along, didn't you? Deep down you knew that we kept running into each other for a reason."

"What are you babbling about?" Angela pouted, tears welling up in her eyes. "You pretended to be someone else so that I would like you? Why would you do that when you're getting married?"

"I know it sounds bad but--"

"And you think you can just come back into my life and I'll forget how you completely _ignored _me after you slept with Rayanne, like it was my fault or something." She paused. "And don't give me that it was a long time ago because it still hurts. A lot."

"Angela, let me say … what I have to say." Jordan sighed. "I'm sorry I put you through this, but when I realized it was you … I didn't want you to turn away because you knew it was me. I just wanted to see what I was--"

"Missing out on?" Angela finished for him. "You bastard."

"No. I found out that … maybe … Angela."

"I don't want to hear it. I don't wanna hear it. Get out."

"Wait. Please."

"Now!" With tears streaming down her face, Angela gave Jordan a huge shove.

"I'll leave you alone … forever." He paused because it was so hard for him to say. "If you come to my concert. I want you to be there." Jordan handed Angela tickets, surprised that she didn't tear them up. Already, he was thinking of a way to make this work.

"A concert?" Angela whispered when Jordan was out of sight.

SCENE

"Eric, not now. I can't believe you followed me here." Isabella giggled, as he continued to explore her neck. "You're so lucky. Jordan left like ten minutes ago."

"Does he know?"

"Of course not. He's too stupid to figure it out." She replied, hearing the door of the hotel unlock. "Shit. He's here. Go!"

"Hey."

"Where have you been? I've been waiting up for you." Isabella lied as Jordan looked at her sadly. She didn't deserve to be dragged into this. Neither did Angela. Instantly, he knew that she was going to have to make a decision.

"I love you." Jordan kissed her shyly as Isabella giggled, jumping and wrapping her legs around his back.

"Prove it."

Kissing her again, Jordan realized that he couldn't. They had made it to the bed, but something wasn't right. He could sense it. "Are those mine?" He wondered, pointing at a pair of boxer briefs on the floor. "I never leave my underwear on the floor."

"Sorry. I guess the cleaning people were doing laundry or something." Isabella suggested nervously as I heard someone … sneeze. It was definitely a sneeze.

"Isabella, what's going on?"

SCENE

"Where the hell is she?" Ricky stopped, hearing a loud knocking on the door. "Where is Rayanne?"

"Don't let him in." Rayanne appeared from the back of the house.

"Mommy, I'm scared." Angela looked suddenly, realizing that Ricky and Rayanne had been keeping a lot from me.

"Mommy?"

"Go into Ricky's room and hide in the closet. Don't move or say anything until we come and get you with the password. You remember the password, don't you?" Rayanne wondered as her son nodded quickly out of fear.

"Rayanne, when did you have a child? What is going on?" I questioned as Ricky came to the rescue.

"Not now Angela. This is serious."

"Open the damn door NOW!" Joey bellowed as Rayanne rushed to the linen closet.

"I don't want you guys to be apart of this." She started tying sheets together. "I'm going out the window to a friend's house. He'll never find me there. Just keep Donovan safe." Rayanne made us promise as she started to go before Ricky could protest.

"Aren't you going to stop her? Do something! Call the police." Angela begged, her voice becoming whiny.

"If I do, Rayanne will be locked up too."

(A/N: What do you think? No update after … too many months and it gets good. I really got into this chapter and hope that you do/will too. Make sure to voice your opinion and this "Beautiful Goodbye" will end soon. (tear) –NL)


	9. Your Confessions Kept Me Warm

Your Confessions Kept Me Warm

"Are you coming to the show or not?" Ricky asked Angela the next night. Rayanne had come back and everything was okay, for now.

"No. You guys go ahead. Take Donavan and have fun without me." Angela slouched onto the couch, chomping down on some brownies. Ricky shrugged as he and Donavan headed to the car. Rayanne trailed behind them but stopped.

"You know I can see right _through _you." Rayanne jumped onto Angela's lap, finishing the brownie in her friend's hand.

"Rayanne chill out. Go and have some fun. It's not safe for you to be here alone and I need some time to think." Angela reasoned avoiding contact with either of her friends.

"No. Thinking leads to bad ideas—depression, anger, hurt … your best bet is to _not _think and go for it." Rayanne hugged Angela, sliding onto the couch.

"Go for what?"

"Catalano."

"Rayanne you know I don't … well I … I'm totally…"

"Yeah, you're staying alright red." Rayanne said sarcastically. "You're already dolled up." Rayanne showed Angela out of the house as Ricky honked the horn, on cue. This was so planned.

SCENE

As soon as Angela and Ricky left the place, Rayanne did too. There was something she had to do. "Yeah Buffy, can you come pick me up … I was thinking about that place …"

Rayanne smiled to herself. If Joey was going to come after her this time, she'd be ready. She would have a gun.

SCENE

"And this one I'd like to dedicate to someone I met in high school. I always knew there was something between us but she got away. I call this one 'Red.'" Jordan announced searching for Angela in the crowd. He still didn't see her, but he kept looking.

"I can't believe he just did that." Angela whispered to Ricky as she watched Jordan's searching eyes. In all those years since high school, he could still make her feel like an insecure teenager in just two seconds. One look and she was his.

'I was going nowhere. Going nowhere fast.'

"I can't believe you're avoiding him. Go up there. Go up to the front." Ricky urged me.

"I can't."

"These are great seats Angela, you can. He's expecting you." Ricky continued.

'Living in the past…'

"Thank you. There she is." Jordan pointed as the light shone on Angela immediately. Embarrassed, Angela ran in the opposite direction away from the stage as Jordan dropped his guitar and followed.

"You can't do this Catalano!" Trixie yelled as the ignored her and the band tried to cover as best as they could. "Catalano will be back in fifteen, but until then we have a few … _unreleased _songs from our next album." Tino began to sing as Angela rushed into the cold, dark night.

"Why are you running away?" Jordan asked chasing after her.

"Why did you do that Jordan?" Angela ran her hands through her hair.

"I wanted to show you--"

"No. You go back to your show, okay?"

"I left it for you. Don't you get it Angela?" Jordan wondered.

"No. Spell it out for me. Why do you keep following me around?" Angela pushed, waiting to see what he would say. Jordan sighed in response, walking back to the coliseum. He couldn't handle another rejection.

SCENE

"What are you doing back so soon hon? Catalano didn't give you any backstage passes?" Rayanne joked, looking a little jumpy.

"I left early and walked here."

"Angela, you know that's not safe."

"Save the lectures and tell me how you ended up with a creep like Joey." Angela changed the subject.

"I tried to get rid of him and I couldn't. That's it. Don't worry." Rayanne patted Angela on the knee. "But you, on the other hand _have _to go back. I cost you Catalano once and I won't let you lose him again." Rayanne opened the front door. "Go."

"Rayanne, you can't kick me out of my own--"

"Go!" She yelled again trying to get her friend out of here now. In a few minutes, things were going to _really _get ugly.

SCENE

"Jordan I …" Angela practiced what she was going to say in front of the Coliseum. It had been over two hours since she'd left and she was hoping that they would still be on stage. "Jordan!" She yelled, opening the door to an empty room where literally everyone had gone. Even the stage set was torn down.

"You lookin for the concert? You just missed it." A person dressed in a cleaning outfit told her.

"How long?"

"An hour or so."

"Thanks." Angela ran out of the Coliseum. "She was too late there was no way she would find him now, ever again."

SCENE

"Can we just hurry?" Jordan complained, irritated that the night was a complete bust. Trixie left some of her things at the hotel and Isabelle was still lingering around.

"Okay Mr. Grumpy, but I think you should go check out your old room … you'll find it enlightening."

"Whatever." Jordan grabbed the keys from his tour manager, who had already scolded him about leaving the stage. "You ready baby?" He yelled, but stopped when he saw that she was in bed and she wasn't alone.

"Jordan … I thought the wedding was off." Isabelle tried to explain, but he threw his hands up.

"I'm done." He dropped the eyes on the hotel room floor and headed to the place where he and Angela reunited. It was definitely closed by now, but I had to at least try.

SCENE

"Rayanne open the damn door!" Joey yelled, pounding on the door.

"Why should I? Just leave me alone!" She shouted back.

"I can't kid. You know why … you screwed me over. I want my money."

"You know I don't have any money. I can't even afford my own place." Rayanne argued back.

"This looks like a nice place to me. How else are you feeding that little brat of yours? Just give me the money and open this door before I break it down."

"Come in and you'll be sorry." Rayanne looked at the gun she had just purchased. Within minutes, Joey had opened the door and was heading towards Rayanne. "Don't or I'll--"

She was cut off by the sound of Joey knocking the gun from her hand. "Now what are you gonna do?" Cornering Rayanne against the wall, the two commenced into a fight which mostly consisted of Joey throwing punches and Rayanne taking them.

"Is that all you got?" She questioned him, inching her way closer and closer to the gun.

"You want more?" Joey lunged towards her as Rayanne took a desperate dive towards the gun. She got it.

"Who's got the upper hand now?"

"I do." Joey latched himself to the gun as the two struggled over it.

SCENE

"So did you like the concert?" Ricky asked Donavan who couldn't stop smiling. He shook his head. "Yeah, it was awesome." So what did you like best?"

"I liked all of it." Donavan smiled innocently.

"Yeah, well I left the keys in the car. You wait here." Donavan nodded as Ricky rushed to find the house keys. Donavan, seeing his mother do this a million times, lifted up the floor mat and found the key.

"Got it!" He yelled, opening the door.

SCENE

"She's not here. Damn it!" Jordan muttered to himself, realizing how much his life was crumbling in front of him.

"Jordan … is that you?" Angela peaked from behind the side of the building. "How did you know to…"

"Thought you hated me. I didn't think you'd be here." He answered, reaching for Angela's hand.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that thing at the Coliseum. I was hoping to see you here so that we can talk about … being friends." Angela finished.

"Friends?" Jordan shrugged. "That's bull shit Angela and you know it. Just tell me why … why can't we--"

"I want to be with you, I really do but you're with Jaded Chase. I'm here establishing my career and--"

"We can make it work. I promise." Jordan held onto her tightly, kissing Angela. Weak in the knees, she lost her balance leaving Jordan to sweep her up in his arms. "I love you Angela Chase. I'd give up anything for you."

SCENE

Once again, Joey got the upper hand and he had the gun. He was pointing it at Rayanne who was standing out in the open, in front of the door. There was no way she was going to escape it.

Almost by sheer luck, the door opened, pushing Rayanne aside. As the bullet was released from the gun, it's intended target was missed. Instead, an eight-year-old little boy took the hit.

(A/N: I know this chapter was bad … I hated having to write it, but I'm done this story. Right now, I can't do it anymore because I just don't feel it. So, there may be a sequel in the future but as of today this is the last one that I write. –NL)


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